holy shit, i did it (sort of)


today, march 23rd, 2016, i signed the contract papers for the apartment at 504 grand street, where i will (hopefully, if all goes smoothly with my mortgage and the coop board) reside for the foreseeable future (following months of renovation).

this is, without a doubt, the scariest, most exciting, most HOLY SHIT moment of my entire life. i just took the first real step to becoming a HOMEOWNER. i am going to OWN A PIECE OF NEW YORK CITY!

(cue the violins and insert a quote from virginia woolf’s a room of one’s own)

when i first got word, late last week, that the contract would be coming our way in the next few days, i asked my broker where we’d meet.

i had this idea in my head that the contract signing would be some big, exciting, miraculous moment. we’d all gather in some giant boardroom somewhere, and the papers would be handed down the line for me to sign. the clouds would part, and the angels would sing, and i’d sign my john hancock oh so expertly four times over. there would be hand shaking, and “congratulations” and “thank you so much” and i’d walk out the room feeling like i’d just done something huge.

i’m sad to report that the actual state of the union is much less exciting than i’d imagined. in reality, what happened was that my lawyer emailed me the contract, told me to print out four copies, sign where appropriate, write the check, and stick it all in an envelope, which his messenger would come and collect from me at my office.

the clouds didn’t part, and the angels didn’t sing, and this BIG HUGE GIGANTIC thing i’m doing…well, it was rather anticlimactic. it’s not at all how they say it is on HGTV. in real life,  i’m just a girl, sitting at her desk, signing a contract and asking an apartment to love her.

but anticlimactic or not, a messenger just came to my office, and picked up a package filled with 16 pages of my signature, along with the biggest check i’ve ever held in my hands, let alone written.

and it appears, ladies and gentlemen, that i am well on my way to actually doing this thing. 

wish me luck, and HERE WE GO!



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